Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Spring Asthma Update
Hey, all - just checking in. It's been quiet on the blog, I know, but believe me...not so much at home!
While we've kept the asthma at bay well enough, sons #1 and #3 have had horrible allergies this season (ironic, since #2 is the only one with diagnosed allergies). I really need to get them both to the peds - runny noses, wet coughs, all kinds of icky booger nastiness. #1 is 7 now and really uncomfortable. He's getting a little relief with Zyrtec, but not nearly enough.
More time consuming and concerning has been the story of #3, our little Ig, now 3.5 years old. As my longtime readers know, #1 son has Aspergers Syndrome, a mild form of autism. (He's 100% mainstreamed at school, doing beautifully and has absolutely no disciplinary issues. He's a gift and a blessing in every way.) So we have some experience with developmental concerns. And we think Ig has some kind of developmental delay. We're not sure what, but we're trying to get answers.
The last few months of my life have been spent (apart from changing jobs and restarting my singing career at night - another story!) trying to get help for Ig. This has involved a long process with the school district's Child Study Team, several unreturned calls to the nearest Child Development Center (finally got an appointment - in August) and a visit with a family therapist...along with many tears and a lot of shouting.
Ig is a beautiful little soul, but so difficult that he's thrown off the balance we had as a family. He obstinate, combative, and prone to tantrums. He has no impulse control whatsoever, which concerns me every single waking moment (he WILL run out the door of the daycare center and into the driveway. He WILL leave the house while I shower) and he is immune to discipline. What concerns me most though are his communication skills. He's not capable of any kind of meaningful conversation - only brief, immediate chats about what we're doing in that moment. And I'm concerned that a lot of what he does say is echolalia.
Because I can't modify his behavior, I've modified mine. When I shower, I put on his favorite TV show and bolt the doors. (I plan to put a latch up high on the door, as well.) I park at the back of the daycare center, so the car can butt up to the sidewalk, instead of having to cross the parking lot and driveway to get to the door. I choose weekend activities for which he doesn't necessarily have to stay put or stay quiet - like going to our local zoo. (We went twice this weekend!) He needs to have his own story at bed time, so I have to read twice as much (one story for B and Oz, one for Ig) so I can keep the routine we've had for him since infancy.
And I've given up on getting him to sit and eat at dinner time. We try to eat as a family as much as possible, but Ig won't sit (or eat) for more than a few minutes, so I just have a safe activity lined up for him when he leaves the table.
It's exhausting. And it's not fair to B and Oz. Ig requires so much of my time and attention that I worry that the two older boys are missing out - or worse, feeling like I love Ig more than them. I'm desperate to find out what's going on with him so he can get the help he needs - and so I can pull my family back together.
So...at least the asthma's been under control, right?